Four days deep into the journey, and finally BEGINNING to feel settled. It all immediately felt worth it, the two flights, a 20 minute journey on foot up the highway in the darkness of 2AM to kill time at a Denny's, a 25 minute Uber ride to the bus station, a 4 hour bus ride to a coastal mountain town for a pit stop at an eco hostel, a day of nausea and heaving, another 10 minute Uber ride to the bus station, a 2 hour bus ride and 7 minute walk.
It seemed like a burger, a brew, beach town view was all I needed to remind me why I love it here so much, why it is that I return. Day 3 begged to differ, given another day of physical weakness, inability to keep down food, and violent bile heaving (pardon the graphic specificity). Still, I mustered the energy to trek up to a local waterfall, prefaced by wading pools scattered about the rock beds full of locals and visitors alike, some brave souls climbing up to ride the waterfall down, or diving into the deepest of the pools from the side of the cliff. Somehow I felt well immediately after submerging myself in the waters and whilst reflecting atop a large boulder. Somehow, even in just initiating transit back to the hostel, I felt worse again.
Generally speaking, I am always looking on the bright side of things, always doing my best to derail worry. In my experiences, I have found worry to do more needless harm in times that could've gone perfectly fine. In the somewhat psychedelic lull of my malaise, I found myself amidst the thoughts,"Is this journey more uncomfortable than I remember? Is this journey more uncomfortable than I've been allowing myself to feel?" And suddenly, there I began to feel better, therein was my answer. I have been here like this before, of course, and that was the silliest part of it all. Last year the transitions of the journey were equally as taxing on my body. In the newness of it all, I had better surrendered to it. This year, I allowed myself to be so excited about the new adventures, look so forward to the reunions and the new iterations of land loved, that I forgot to give due credit and reverence to the journey, one none too easy, that delivers me to it all. The moment I embraced, became comfortable with my discomfort, a discomfort I was all too ready to deny, is the moment that I was rewarded with the ease of my existence, the truth of my true comfort once again.
More and more I am ready to give. Four days deep, finally feeling comfortable again, and the party hasn't even begun yet. ๐
Thank you Sibu Cafe for your hospitality, excellent not-just-for-the-jungle cuisine, and comfortable space
